It’s 2:00 a.m. These are the very important thoughts (VIT) keeping me awake:
VIT: I’m pretty sure you left the stove on.
Me: No I didn’t.
VIT: Mmmm, yeah, pretty sure you did.
Me: Go to sleep.
VIT: In this death trap of a house?
Me: It’s not a death trap.
VIT: Just go check.
Me: No.
VIT: …are you really willing to bet your life on not having turned off the stove?
Me: Yes.
VIT: You always leave things on. Remember the curling iron?
VIT: And the car that one time?
Me: ……
VIT: Are you willing to bet your husband’s life? He’s in the house too.
Me: Yes.
VIT: YOU. MONSTER.
Me: Listen! I didn’t use the fucking stove today. We had lunch at the restaurant and we had dinner at Katie’s house and we had cereal for breakfast and yesterday we were out of town. So if the house was going to burn down, it would have been during the four days we weren’t here, but it didn’t because it’s NOT ON. OK?
VIT: ……
VIT: Yea, I’m still going to need you to check it…
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Ha ha..It can happen. I toast pita on a very low gas flame for breakfast. I sometimes walk away, notice it hours later. So far, no fires.
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Haha! I can totally relate. I check the stove, door, and oven at least times before falling asleep. Anything to silence that pesky VIT.
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*at least 3
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Me the door… definitely… once I left my stove burner on no pot no nothing, just the fire and the burner and my over head very wooden cupboards…
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Wow! Hope nothing was burned?
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not at all…whew…!
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LUV this.
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Except when your toddler turns the gas stove on, but not enough to light it, and you come out of putting him to bed to smell gas…We have that variable.
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Been there. Done that.
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lmaoo… I can so relate to this… this usually happens to me when I’m wide awake and well on my way to where ever it is I’m going…
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LOL YOU MONSTER.
And you’re still gonna have to check it xD so funny. So did you check it? I can’t check something just once. I need to check it like I have a nervous tick that won’t let me stop checking, esp when it comes to my bag and keys and the like. I probably look suuuuper sketchy in the mall.
My fear related to this is… I’m always like… okay, it’s okay, we have carbon monoxide detectors BUT DO THEY FUCKING WORK
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Once, My cat, who would commit prety crimes for a sausage, jumped onto the stove top in order to get at a tray that had been used to cook sausages earlier that eve. However, in the process of being a sausage obsessed greedy guts, she accidentally turned the hotplate on. The hot plate that a wooden chopping board was resting on. I’ve sinced learned to always turn to stove off at the wall.
xx
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The logical reasons why it’s illogical are all there except it ain’t enough for VIT. I’ve got to have some real solid guarantee of danger to get me out of bed once I’m cozy. Looks like we’ll be dying in our sleep brain. Have you tried getting her drunk before bed? That’s probably a whole other set of conversations!
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I relate a way too much to this post…LOL!
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I am like that with my dog. It’s 2 AM. Did I let him back in? It is freezing out. He could die. I better check. But never does my VIT say to go back to sleep because you are tired and might fall asleep driving. Not fair! I can totally relate!
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I hate when that happens. Hubs is more OCD about that stuff though. “Did you turn off the stove? Did you unplug the washing machine and turn off the water? Are all the doors locked? Are the cats locked in a room or are they roaming about the house?” and I’m all “GAAAAAAAH! Can we just LEAVE NOW? PLEASE?”
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Hahahaha! 🙋🏻
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My mom used to check the oven at least twice every night – now I know a bit more about VIT’s going on in her head!!!!!
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Love this. Keep ‘em coming, although obvs would be better if you could sleep through the night …
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Did you get up and check it? 😛
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OMG I REALLY NEED TO KNOW
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Haha! Of course, The VIT always wins!! lol!
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Ty for answering 🙂 I am consumed with a vit of my own right now and need to focus:p….maybe you can help?…. when my microwave is finished it says GOOD wth does good mean?!??! I have lime 15 different thoughts on the subject…smh
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Ahaha! Your microwave sounds like a very nice person lol!
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That can totally happen esp when you have a lot to do and think about
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Lol, very relatable. Although I just realized it sounds very obsessive compulsive.
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Hahahah! I always get paranoid when leaving the house for a long trip. Luckily my husband is able to talk me out of going back home 50 times to verify everything is still ok if the voice in my head is too loud.
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Omgsh so relatable 😭😂
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hahahahahah i just can’t stop laughing
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I love it!
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This is me everyday
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I get this with locking the front door. I’ve sometimes walked back just to check before I get in my car to go to work. I think I do it so automatically I just don’t notice I’ve done it. It’s a horrible feeling though!
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LOL! That’s funny, and so relatable! I love your perspective with this blog page!
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You should listen to “Every Single Night” by Fiona Apple.
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Brilliant! This is me most nights – maybe not about the stove but definitely about “Did I plug my phone in to charge?” or “Did I let the dog out for a wee?” 🙂
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Oh boy. I am out of town right now and have been obsessing the whole time over whether or not I left the stove on. Fuck, I didn’t, right?! 😳 Love your new blog, girl!! You are hilarious!
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I left my stove on for 8 hours one day. That low flame will fool you. I’d listen to the VIT and check it.
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I totally get this, the feckin voices love to play on things like this to make me paranoid. Awesome post 😁👍
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Thanks for stopping by my blog!
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Omg you are writing my life’s!
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Life’s story! 😂😂😂
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This has to become a webseries or a comic strip or something!
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This is hilarious!
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I’ve had this argument in my head over a ton of things over the years.
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VIT is Public Enemy Number One! I fear it strikes all of us, but we’re afraid to admit what a tyrant VIT really is. 😉
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Haha this is amazing
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Love this because this is me Every. Single. Night.
But also…
Did I lock the front and back doors?
Was that a noise I heard?
Omg, why is the baby monitor shining so bright in my face?
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🙌
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Lmaooo.. “Yeah. Im going to still need you to check it.”
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Me every night, I have such a phobia of leaving the stove on when we go to bed. It never matters that I didn’t use it all day and I won’t sleep until I check. So glad I’m not the only one ha ha
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Lmao ok this is fucking hysterical! This happens to
Me with candles alllll theeeee damn time!!!!!!! Lol 😂 I’m pretty sure I’ve turned around and gone back home to be sure I blew some candles out! Lol! I love this! What CAN’T you do! You’re my hero!
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I (sort of) remember returning to my appartment in Sha Tin, Hong Kong, after a hard days work and an even harder night drinking. I think I decided to make supper! The next morning I awoke at about 6 and could hear a strange noise. I investigated and found that I had left one of the gas hobs on full blast overnight!
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Trueeee
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Haha!! Fabulous. For me it was the iron back when I did such things. Now I just forget to pay bills because my anxiety tells me that if I ignore them they will go away.
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