It’s 2:00 a.m. These are the very important thoughts (VIT) keeping me awake:
VIT: This pillow is really uncomfortable.
Me: It’s fine. Go to sleep.
VIT: Fluff it for me.
Me: Fine. There, I fluffed it.
VIT: I mean, how old is it anyway?
Me: Who cares?
VIT: You know that pillows, like, quadruple in weight every day because they get so full of dust mites, right?
Me: They do not quadruple in weight every day.
VIT: That’s what the guy at Denver Mattress said.
Me: I think you misheard.
VIT: No, I’m pretty sure he said it quadruples.
Me: If it quadrupled in weight every day, this pillow would weigh like, 120 pounds. It doesn’t, so go to sleep.
VIT: I wish I weighed 120 pounds…