It’s 2:00 a.m. These are the very important thoughts (VIT) keeping me awake:
VIT: If I were a serial killer…
Me: Stop. Right. There.
VIT: If I were a serial killer, I would kill people with nuts.
Me: You’re out of your mind.
VIT: Yeah! I would find people with nut allergies and rub nuts all over them so that the headlines would be, “SERIAL KILLER TERRORIZES TOWN WITH NUTS.”
VIT: …or “KILLER RUBS NUTS ON HELPLESS VICTIMS.”
Me: That’s sick.