If I Were a Serial Killer

It’s 2:00 a.m. These are the very important thoughts (VIT) keeping me awake:

VIT: If I were a serial killer…

Me: Stop. Right. There.

VIT: ……

VIT: If I were a serial killer, I would kill people with nuts.

Me: You’re out of your mind.

VIT: Yeah! I would find people with nut allergies and rub nuts all over them so that the headlines would be, “SERIAL KILLER TERRORIZES TOWN WITH NUTS.”

VIT: …or “KILLER RUBS NUTS ON HELPLESS VICTIMS.”

Me: That’s sick.


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52 thoughts on “If I Were a Serial Killer

  1. That is right up there will removing safety labels and only the ones with no common sense would die, then the headlines would read: “Serial Killer systematically kills people who lack common sense by removing safety warning labels, and lets natural selection run it’t course. Full story on page 9”

    Liked by 1 person

  2. oh my gosh dreamer just cracked me up. I just came over here to let you know I gave you a good mention on todays post. Everyonce in awhile I do a thing where I say nice things about bloggers I read, it’s my way of giving back to the community.

    Liked by 1 person

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