I’m in a Calming Meadow…

It’s 2:00 a.m. These are the very important thoughts (VIT) keeping me awake:

Me: I’m in a calming meadow…

VIT: What are you doing? I don’t like this…

Me: There is a waterfall and softly chirping birds…

VIT: STOP IT.

Me: I feel at peace and listen only to the sounds of my breathing.

Me: Innnnnnnnnnn…

Me: and ouuuuuuttttt.

Me: Innnnnnn and…

VIT: SQUACK!

Me: What the hell was that?

VIT: A bird.

Me: There are no birds! …And ouuuutttt

VIT: You said there were chirping birds.

Me: No I didn’t. There’s just the sound of the waterfall…

VIT: Pretty sure you said there were birds.

Me: Fine, but they aren’t fucking sqwuacking, they’re softly tweeting.

VIT: You know who else is softly tweeting?

Me: Innnnnnn…

VIT: Donald Trump.

Me: …and ouuuuutttt.

VIT: I bet you are going to have a sex dream about him.

Me: WHY WOULD YOU SAY THAT!

VIT: DON’T EVER TRY TO MEDITATE ME AGAIN, BITCH!


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33 thoughts on “I’m in a Calming Meadow…

  1. Pingback: I’m in a Calming Meadow… – The Militant Negro™

  2. Gale

    Waterfall! Man oh man oh man, if I didn’t hafta pee before that…! Laughing really ought to make people _not_ pee themselves instead of peeing themselves, their clothes, and…

    Liked by 2 people

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