It’s 2:00 a.m. These are the very important thoughts (VIT) keeping me awake:
Me: I’m in a calming meadow…
VIT: What are you doing? I don’t like this…
Me: There is a waterfall and softly chirping birds…
VIT: STOP IT.
Me: I feel at peace and listen only to the sounds of my breathing.
Me: Innnnnnnnnnn…
Me: and ouuuuuuttttt.
Me: Innnnnnn and…
VIT: SQUACK!
Me: What the hell was that?
VIT: A bird.
Me: There are no birds! …And ouuuutttt
VIT: You said there were chirping birds.
Me: No I didn’t. There’s just the sound of the waterfall…
VIT: Pretty sure you said there were birds.
Me: Fine, but they aren’t fucking sqwuacking, they’re softly tweeting.
VIT: You know who else is softly tweeting?
Me: Innnnnnn…
VIT: Donald Trump.
Me: …and ouuuuutttt.
VIT: I bet you are going to have a sex dream about him.
Me: WHY WOULD YOU SAY THAT!
VIT: DON’T EVER TRY TO MEDITATE ME AGAIN, BITCH!
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Hilarious as always.
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So great
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Dream nothing! That’s a full-fledged nightmare!
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So funny. Your posts always brighten my day! 🙂
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Thank you so much!
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I love a chuckle in the morning, thank you!
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Loved this. As usual, your posts don’t disappoint!
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Lol at effing squaking birds
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So funny, had to read it to my hubby. Still laughing!
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I do so love your posts!
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“VIT: You know who else is softly tweeting?
Me: Innnnnnn…
VIT: Donald Trump.”
I ALMOST CHOKED ON MY CUPCAKE. OMG.
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ROFL! LMAO! LOL! I’M DEAD! I’VE DIED! I DON’T HAVE TO FINISH PAYING OFF MY CREDIT CARD DEBT! YES!
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Laughing out loud here . . . literally! THANK YOU!!!
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AHHAHA!! LOVE THIS!!!
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❤️ ❤️ ❤️
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Pingback: I’m in a Calming Meadow… – The Militant Negro™
I read this yesterday in the dentist’s office and disrupted the waiting room with my laughter – it was awesome!!!!! Just what I needed while at the dreaded dentist.
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haha! Thank you so much!!!
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VIT is a hot mess. And shady AF too. So did you have a DJT sex dream?
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Hahaha! Word! No, thank God!
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Hahahaha squack!! too funny!
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Holy crap that’s funny
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Waterfall! Man oh man oh man, if I didn’t hafta pee before that…! Laughing really ought to make people _not_ pee themselves instead of peeing themselves, their clothes, and…
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Enjoying this post. Trump softly tweeting cracked me up 😂 too funny!
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Thank you so much! lol!
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Dying! 😂
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hehe!!!
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Ok this is my FAVORITE ONE!!!! Lmfao !!!!
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Haha!!
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haha. If I tried meditating and heard bird noises, I would most definitely freak out.
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😂
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Grab him by the pussy!
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That’s hilarious! Not what I was expecting at all! Fantastic thought processes and wonderfully original. You’ve made my day!
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