I Think the Neighbors Might Be Vampires

It’s 2:00 a.m. These are the very important thoughts (VIT) keeping me awake:

VIT: I think the neighbors might be vampires.

Me: For the love of God.

VIT: They are removing all the windows from their house!

Me: So?

VIT: So who does that? It’s deranged!

Me: Stop being so judgmental.

VIT: Oh, I’m sorry, now I can’t judge vampires?

Me: Oh brother…

VIT: They have been around for hundreds of years. Eating. People.

VIT: Not to mention all the other stuff…

Me: The other stuff?

VIT: You know, sparkling, and… fucking eating people.

Me: Please go to sleep.

VIT: I think we should move.

Me: What?

VIT: I AM NOT LIVING NEXT DOOR TO VAMPIRES!


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45 thoughts on “I Think the Neighbors Might Be Vampires

  1. Hiya! I’ve only recently followed your blog but from what I have seen, you are incredibly funny and I have really enjoyed your posts. I’ve had similar conversations with myself when I struggle to sleep 😂 I’ve nominated you for the Liebster Award and have mentioned you in my most recent blog post about it 😊

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Wait, are they really removing all their windows? Why? What is the point of that?

    Although, my friend has neighbors across the street who built a giant black wooden wall around the facade of their house that covers the whole. fucking. house. I think you can just see the attic and roof. Apparently, they’re from some Asian country (I forget which) and this kind of architectural thing is common there? I don’t know, but everytime I go over to his house I, too, immediately think, “Vampires!”

    Liked by 1 person

  3. I meant to comment this last week, because you know it occured to me… I’ve had people directly across the hall move in back in October. I hear them. I see their lights on. I hear the door open and close multiple time all hours of night….. I have never once laid eyes on any of them. Ever. And everyday I leave my place and look directly into their front patio on my way out I think how weird that is. Hmm… lease is up soon. Just sayin.

    Like

      1. 🤣 I wish. Try the “philosophical musings of pre-post-existentialist perceptions” with a nihilistic twist.

        Stupid ethnic Hungarian from Transylvania.

        Disclosure, my paternal ancestors were ethnic Hungarians from Transylvania. I’m sure one of them has taken up (semi-) permanent residence in my brain. As a squatter.

        Liked by 1 person

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