It’s 2:00 a.m. These are the very important thoughts (VIT) keeping me awake:
VIT: I think the neighbors might be vampires.
Me: For the love of God.
VIT: They are removing all the windows from their house!
VIT: So who does that? It’s deranged!
Me: Stop being so judgmental.
VIT: Oh, I’m sorry, now I can’t judge vampires?
Me: Oh brother…
VIT: They have been around for hundreds of years. Eating. People.
VIT: Not to mention all the other stuff…
Me: The other stuff?
VIT: You know, sparkling, and… fucking eating people.
Me: Please go to sleep.
VIT: I think we should move.
VIT: I AM NOT LIVING NEXT DOOR TO VAMPIRES!