You’re Laying on Something

It’s 2:00 a.m. These are the very important thoughts (VIT) keeping me awake:

VIT: You’re laying on something.

Me: I’m not laying on anything. Go to sleep.

VIT: Yes you are.

VIT: You can’t feel that?

Me: Ok, yes, ugh, what the hell am I laying on?

VIT: Oh….

Me: What?

VIT: …It’s your back fat.

Me: WHAT?!

VIT: Yeah, you’re laying on your own back fat.

Me: I’M NOT LAYING ON MY OWN BACK FAT!

VIT: Mmmm, I’m afraid so.

Me: Fucking fuck.

Me:

Me: ……!!

Me: ………!!!

Me: Oh God, it’s just the sheet. It’s all balled up!

VIT: Likely story…

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22 thoughts on “You’re Laying on Something

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