Did You Hear That?

It’s 2:00 a.m. These are the very important thoughts (VIT) keeping me awake:

VIT: Did you hear that?

Me: I don’t hear anything.

VIT: Keith is snoring!

VIT: Oh!

VIT: My!

VIT: GOD!

VIT: Make it stop!

Me: Keith, roll over.

Keith: 😴

VIT: That did not work.

VIT: ……

VIT: at all…

VIT:

VIT: Shake the shit out of him!

Me: Fine!

Keith: 😴

VIT: Oh my god!!! It’s so loud!

Me: Just ignore it.

VIT: Ahhhhhhhhhh!

VIT: KILL HIM!

Me: I can’t kill him!

VIT: Why not?!

Me: BECAUSE HE PAYS THE BILLS!

VIT: THAT’S WHY YOU HAVE LIFE INSURANCE!


Want to support Insomnia Girl? Share this post on Facebook!

23 thoughts on “Did You Hear That?

  1. I think about needing to get laid and go, “This is why being single sucks.” Then I read something like this and remember that my ex snored like a jackhammer and go, “This is why being single rocks.”

    I can’t STAND snoring. It’s awful. When my ex used to snore I just went immediately to shoving him and elbowing him. Waking him up never worked, because I’d wake him up, be like, “You’re snoring.” And he’d go, “Oh.” Then get into a new position and IMMEDIATELY START SNORING AGAIN. He only seemed to respond to night-time semi-violence.

    Liked by 3 people

  2. My friend wasn’t feeling well today,so I read her a few of your blog posts to cheer her up on the phone. I’ve read several of them since I started following you the other day. I find them quite entertaining. Good job!

    Liked by 1 person

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

w

Connecting to %s