It’s 2:00 a.m. These are the very important thoughts (VIT) keeping me awake:

VIT: You know what I hate?

Me: ……

VIT: The term “Jill off.”

Me: Like “jerk off” for girls? What’s wrong with it?

VIT: It just bothers me.

Me: Go to sleep.

VIT: You just can’t put “Jill” in front of everything to indicate that it’s the girl version.

Me: Ok, that’s fine, no Jills. Go to sleep.

VIT: Ok. Don’t let the bed Jills bite!

VIT: Maybe you will get a visit from the sand Jill.

VIT: Actually it’s not there to replace “jerk off” but “jack off”.

Me: Jesus.

VIT: So I guess that’s fine.

VIT: ……You know what else bothers me?

Me: ……What!?

VIT: Terrorism.

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